Find Your Strength

Ever since I’ve known Chris, he’s been AD military. Living life based on what the Navy wanted and needed from him. 

We’re coming up on a life transition and, I have to admit, I’m pretty freaked out by it.

There are so many positives to getting out and moving on, but there’s negatives, too. Those negatives are staring us in the face and I feel as though this is going to be our biggest challenge yet.

We’ve gotten through the first 7 years of marriage.

We fought back and beat the piss out of my PPD.

We bought a home before our 30^th birthdays and filled it with kids, animals and love.

Now we are walking into a situation where I’m the only one employed. It’s always been Chris. He’s always been the financial backbone of our family and now that falls to me. The pressure is indescribable. I can’t believe he didn’t crumble under the weight of what the “sole bread winner” really means.

We have 2 more weeks under military pay; then we’re on our own until he finds a job. He’s had some really great prospects that we’re waiting on; but right now, all they amount to is prospects.

I know he’ll find something, I know he’ll always take care of us; but in this transition I need to find my strength and be there for him in a way only I can do. I need to show him all the courage he’s shown me in the past and have faith we’ll come through this better than we were before.

Leaving the military was our choice.

Staying in San Diego and not moving home was our choice.

Now we need to embrace those choices and prove that we weren’t wrong.

It might take a lot of complaining, lots of good beer and some awesome low cost meals, but we’ll get there.

I’ll be a bigtime author dancing on Ellen eventually. ;)

Distractions

I am so easily distracted.

Like, a 2 year old with free access to the kitchen cabinets has more focus than I do while trying to write at home.

With tax season, 3 kids, and the need to sleep, I've had no time to sit down and go through the edits of my next book. (Stay tuned for title...and where you can (and will) buy)

Chris has been telling me to just take an afternoon and write. So I did. Today. The problem with my plan is I started watching Hawaii 5-0 on demand and became invested. And I left the door to our bedroom open, allowing kids and animals to come see why I'm hiding.

I have gotten some writing done, but it's been pretty slow going and that's really pissing me off. I'd like to have this edit out by the end of the week, but at this rate, it'll be like the end of the month. (Unless someone wants to write for me...?)

I'd write tomorrow, since I'm off, but I'm going to Disneyland. 

Yes, the one who isn't a total Disney fan, is spending her day off at the park.

How many of you guys are wicked jealous? No?

How about this...I'm NOT taking my kids.

Ha! You're jealous now, aren't ya?

Ok, now that this has managed to find it's way onto my "list of distractions," I'm going to try and write now.

Unless anyone wants to start up a new game of Words With Friends?

Tax Refund

Ok, how many of you spend the year thinking about what you're going to do with the refund you'll be getting come tax time?

We do. We hardcore plan everything out, to the penny, and make sure we make the most out of what we get back.

I know Queenie thinks my tattoo idea is awesome. She probably wants to go with me because what better way to celebrate some extra cash then getting new ink?

Really though, we fix up stuff on the house, get some new clothes for the kids, buy toys for the kids, take the kids to some kind of fun day thing. Basically, we spend most of it on the kids. 

That's something we'll need to revisit next year. Mama wants some mixer attachments. 

We splurged more this year than we've done in the past and got each of them scooters and Kindle Fires. Yes, all three of my spoiled ass kids have Kindles.

         

They LOVE them. We even got them headphones so they can watch their annoying ass shows and not subject their poor parents to the ridiculous pre-teen dialogs. 

Or the PJ Masks theme song. 

I can't take that one anymore.

What's really funny, is we have all the tablets password protected. They've gotten locked out a few times trying to figure out what the code is. Heh heh.

And the scooters! The three of them or so dang cute riding those! My Beast is a fan, too.

        

This post has shown me what my husband has been saying all along: My kids are spoiled. 

Meh. I'm ok with that though. They aren't little shits, for the most part, they have pretty damn good manners, and they're pretty awesome to people. I'm good with rewarding them for being wicked cute...I mean very sweet kids. 

Done!

"We are the champions, my friends..."

That's what started blaring through my brain Monday afternoon at 5pm. 

Tax season was officially over. We'd made it through another one and came out unscathed.

I mean, I've still got a headache that won't go away, the desperate need for a long nap and the want to remind my children what I look like; but damn, we kicked some serious ass this year! 

Now, don't misunderstand, we'll still have our busy times and the need to play done catch up, but the next 2 days? Those are gonna be spent doing whatever the hell I want. 

Day one? Spa. It was amazing, incredible, and hilarious all at the same time. My body is crazy relaxed and my toes are super cute. 

Day two. Shopping, lunch and movies with my hubs; the former tax widower. He survived, too. 

Shopping was (as always) fun, lunch tasty, and the movie was enjoyable. 

But, after a much needed nap, I wake up to find it's time to start getting ready for work the next day. 

How did those two days go by so freaking fast? I'm still sleepy, damnit!


My daughter says it's time to cook.

Crap. 

Inspiration

Is there any one thing that inspires you?

Or do you find yourself getting inspiration from everything?

I ask because, for me, it’s 100% people. The way they act, talk; if they are different when with one group to the next.

And my kids? They’re an endless source.

I happen to work with some of the most entertaining and awesome people around. I feel like I laugh through most days and I’m lucky enough to work with people who are also PARENTS. The commiserating that goes on around the office is pretty hysterical.

You want to talk about how your daughter smacks people around? Ya, I’ve got someone you can talk to.

Your son does nothing but whine and jump off of tall structures? C’mon over, we’ve got someone dealing with that, too.

And laughter, goodness almighty, do we laugh here.

I could go on and on about tons of different people and how they are all freaking funny, but let’s get to the nitty gritty. Because there’s one person, she totally knows this is about her by the way…wicked ego on this one, and she gets it. Fully gets how insane my children are because her daughters are just as bonkers.

There isn’t a single story shared between the two of us that we can’t fully relate to. If you’ve ever raised 2 (or more) daughters, you’ll get it. If not, damn…I dislike you a little bit.

Have you ever sent your daughter out of the house with lipstick up to her nose? No? I have. I didn’t see the little bugger before I left. She took my lip gloss so she could be “pretty for school.”

Who the hell does she need to be pretty for?

I’ll just send in my little punk to handle this “pretty at school” situation. Because Maddie? She’ll beat some tail, laugh about it, and then give me the world’s longest story-excuse as to why it had to happen.

Really though, why in the world do kids do what they do? Is there a reason for the pushing or the hitting? And, when you tell them to use their words, they use them a little too well…if you know what I mean. (It’s hard to be mad when they use them in the correct context…)

At the end of the day, they are smarter than us and we are just going to have to take it and then laugh when they are no longer in sight.

I made the mistake of laughing AT them one time.  I was the world’s worst mommy for like 5 minutes. It was a blissfully peaceful 5 minutes. Which means it might not have been such a big mistake after all.

If you are one of those unlucky few, the ones that don’t work with some awesome (though only 60% as awesome as I am) people, I feel bad for you and it might be time for a new job.

If you can’t laugh with others about your struggles, then what’s the point in going to work? Other than making money to pay bills and those other “important” things everyone has to do when they are “responsible.”

You could eat cake.

Which is what I’d like to do right now.

Eat some damn cake.

Screw this diet.

I’m hungry.

The New Me

It's been years coming but I've finally given in to a pre-planned diet.

Nutrisystem.

My in laws were here last weekend and we were talking about the foods we eat, how much time we DON'T have, etc, and I jumped on Google for suggestions. Nutrisystem popped up and I decided to put together a plan and get an idea of cost and reviews on taste. The next thing I knew, Chris was telling me to go for it and I'd paid for the first month's auto delivery.

Excitement and straight nervousness were running through me and I honestly couldn't wait to get my box of food.

See, my brother is getting married at the end of March and I have this beautiful dress to wear. But, it doesn't fully zip. It made me feel gross and lazy and like I needed to buy stock in Spanx.

I'm not going to lie about the days I waited for my food; I straight got stupid and ate everything I shouldn't. But my time of fun was over when my box arrived Tuesday night.

This box was HUGE. As it should be considering it had my next month's food in it.

It came with the Turbo 10, which is the first 7 days of the program that boot camps your body towards the rest of the month. Each day I get breakfast, 4 veggie servings, lunch and dinner. I can eat before whenever, but nothing else. Oh, and lots of water.

I'm hangry all the damn time; but it's the start of the 5th day and I'm already down 5 pounds and 1/2 an inch!

I'm currently around 950 calories a day, which will go up to 1200 on Wednesday and I'm managing the gym once a week...which needs to change.

Overall?  I'm pretty freaking thrilled. Go me!

Moving with Children...5 Surefire Ways to Keep your Sanity

My first guest blogger! Sarah and I have known each other for a long time now and she's been helping me with all this moving crap that's coming up. I was lucky enough to have her write up this post to help those getting ready to move, too!

*************************************************


December 2, 2012 marked six years to the day since I had arrived in San Diego to live with my new husband. In 2006, I simply had a couple suitcases and all intentions of making a life with this near stranger. Six years later; I had.


My husband Andrew and I are a military couple, and our two children make us a military family. On December 2, 2012; it was just me, the hubby and our daughter Keira, preparing to move across the country to Norfolk, Virginia. We had one car, one child, and one dog, but a whole lot of memories. The move was bittersweet. Our family was moving to my favorite coast and I couldn't be happier. However, we were also leaving behind six years of friendships, joys, and memories.

I'm getting sappy, so let's get to the good stuff; how we survived this 3 day trip with a toddler. Keira was 2 ½ and thankfully a pretty calm child. When Jen asked me to write on this topic...I realized just how easy we had it. Preparing for the move was a whole other story.


Would the movers lose our stuff? Would we have to change a tire in the middle of I-8 on a cold December night? What if we lost Boo bear, our daughter's favorite bear? How was I going to sleep in the same bed with our daughter? I never could because she constantly moved around.


Preparing for a cross country move with small children can be an anxiety-filled adventure. Step 1 should be making your local CVS your first stop to pick up those anxiety pills your old doctor prescribed. But....we'll be real. Moving across country with children doesn't have to be difficult. Here are 5 Ways to Keep your Sanity while Moving with Children:


Let Your Significant Other handle the Big Stuff: This is what the old saying, “the wife's job is to mother the children”, really means. Your spouse or whoever is helping you move, should be responsible for moving the big stuff. If you're military; this means they set up the movers (the movers pack), and you take care of the kids.



Pack Activity Bags: Go to the store and pick out bins or bags that the kids can decorate. While the movers are packing up the boxes, this helps keep the children out of the way...and they are doing something for themselves. Take the kids to the dollar store...think Dollar Tree...and set a budget. Then, let them pick out fun toys and games for the car ride. **Important: DO NOT LET THEM PLAY WITH THEM UNTIL YOU LEAVE* Be sure to grab your own bag of toys, so you can use them to trade out in the car.



Invest in a DVD player for the Car: Sure, it can be expensive...get used to it. Both kids...and moving are EXPENSIVE. Having a few DVDs, and even headphones will make your trip go crazy smooth.



Buy a Few New Chapter Books (if you have older kids): This one is if you have older kids....or wait; who are we kidding? Your kids will be strapped in their car seats...read to the babies too. Chapter books not only help time pass by, but it's great for family bonding and enhancing your child's vocabulary.



Give Yourselves Time to Stop: I think this is the most important one. We are often so busy with the stress of life, that we forget to stop and enjoy the blessings right in front of us. Whether you are moving across the country, or just a few hours away...STOP, and enjoy the things in between. You'll never have this moment with your children again....unless you move again...but you get my point. Enjoy what is around you. The breaks will be wonderful for your kids, and for you.




The tips listed above are just a small idea of how to keep your sanity while moving with children. Just remember that people do it every day, and to just breath. Embrace the experience and know that you CAN do this.

You can check her out over at Not Your Traditional Family

School Already?!

When you have kids, one of the things that (eventually) hits your mind is getting them ready for school.

With this comes everything from books, games, preschool, etc. and you do everything in your power to get your babies ready to face the big scary kindergarten room. Now, we’ve been through this with Emma, who is now in 1st grade, but we are in the process of getting Maddie into kindergarten and I’m learning just how different these 2 beauties really are.

Emma took to learning with a quickness; she soaked everything up from day one and absolutely loved going to school. Maddie? Nah, she wants to go to school purely for the play and socialization aspects.

Chris and I have started really researching what a child should know by the time they start school and finding that we need to spend more time with Maddie than we did with Emma at actually pushing information at her.

She knows how to count, recognize colors and shapes and she loves to draw. She can recite the alphabet like it’s nothing but she doesn’t have much interest in reading; being read to, absolutely, but not the other way around. Emma was “reading” to us at a very early age so Maddie is tossing a curve ball at us.

The most important thing we are learning from this is that it’s OK for the girls to be this different; we need to cherish that and build on it.

We have a lot of teachers in our group of family and friends and they’ve all been awesome at telling us that she’ll be fine, she’s so smart and she’ll pick everything up in no time. But, we want more than that. We want to make sure she gets the best possible start and so we started really looking into at home programs, to go along with her preschool lessons, which we can do with her at night and on weekends.

It’s a really big undertaking considering we have another in school and a 3 year old who thinks the world (and it’s time) fully belongs to him, but we also feel it’s so important.

I got on Google and started looking for printouts and books that could lead us and we found an insane amount of language development, thinking, reading and a billion other things to get her ready!

I’m still trying to decide who is more excited because I am really excited about working with her on these things. Not only am I finding things she can do, but I’m finding checklists for us to be able to keep track of it all.

This is going to be a much different “beginning to school” than we had with Emma, but it’s going to be awesome anyhow!

Food Dyes

My second book is so, so different than my first and one of the things that is a big part of the book is what we’ve gone through, and are still going through, with Maddie and artificial dyes. This issue popped up again yesterday and I felt it was really important to put it on another stage because people need to be aware.

My middle beauty has an issue with artificial food dyes; meaning she becomes a highly skilled (in the art of pissing me off) little terror when she gets any; and I do mean ANY amount.

We talked to the multiple doctors at the Naval Hospital, teachers, friends, co-workers, etc. and finally realized that to keep her as the awesome little bit that she is, we needed to give her the foods and drinks her system could handle.

We went through our entire kitchen and pantry and got rid of every single thing that had artificial coloring in it and replaced it with products that used natural ingredients to color their stuff. The change in her was almost immediate; her nightly tantrums stopped, her fighting us at every corner stopped and her mean streak stopped.

She’s one of the most beautiful and loving little girls I’ve ever had the pleasure of being around and, when she ate or drank something with artificial dyes, she became the exact opposite of the girl we know. It was heartbreaking to watch because you could see in her eyes that she hated how she was behaving but she was powerless to stop it.

My baby girl is only 4, so the fact that she lived her life this way hurt; I feel like we should have realized sooner what was going on. But, Emma didn’t have these problems so it was all so new to us.

Our family and friends have been amazing and don’t send the kids anything she can’t eat. But, yesterday, she got her hands on a box of Valentine’s Day conversation hearts and started eating them before I realized what they were. She was so angry at me when I took them, but I could already see the change in her.

Last night was miserable. She made herself into a statue, stopped talking and refused to do anything she was told. Chris and I, already knowing this was coming, calmed ourselves and took turns talking quietly to her. It took about 30 minutes but I finally saw it leave while I was hugging her in her room. She has this “tell” and it’s how we always know she’s reached the point where she can let go of what she’s feeling and get back to being Maddie. She’ll all of a sudden start telling us about everything that made her mad during the day, even if it has nothing to do with what we are talking about, she wants us to know.

After she gets it all out, she’s exhausted and ready to sleep; Chris and I are usually ready to sleep at that point, too. It’s emotionally and mentally draining on everyone involved.

We don’t let any of the kids have dyes anymore; we don’t even have medicine in the house that uses them. I’ve spoken to a number of parents who have discovered the same reaction in their kids due to dyes and I wish more would look into it.

I’m not one of those parents that is all about natural/organic everything, I’m just not. But I believe in this because I’ve SEEN what it did to my girl and I believe that artificial dyes need to come out of foods as a whole.

I really hope this post reaches someone that’s in the same situation we were in and finds their answers.

That Moment When...

You are towards the end of your pregnancy, hot as Hades, and your cousin says: "smile because I'm talking your damn picture!" Worst. Thing. Ever.

I hate having my picture taken; I have no clue as to why though. I'm a straight mamarazzi. I'll follow my kids everywhere and snap thousands of pictures to show any and everyone. But you put a camera in my face and we'll have words.

I clearly don't scare my cousin. She basically told me to sit my butt down and deal with it.

She's an amazing photographer and I love how she takes photos of the family constantly. (Especially since we've been away from home for 9 years...)

So, the reason for this post? I woke up and was notified by Facebook that my amazingly, wonderful, beautiful cousin tagged me in those pregnancy photos from 7 years ago.

Even pregnant my face was skinnier then. Ticks me off something fierce. But, what can I say? I love donuts.

Back to these photos: I realized that one day, my kids are going to wonder why I'm hiding in every photo. That they'll want to see me as much as I want to see my mom. (Who is a notorious hider from cameras) I don't want that so I'm making a conscious effort to lose the chunk that I hate and get in more photos with my kids.

Meaning more gym time, not so much less donut time. Let's not get crazy here.



If any of you are in the Bay Area and are in need of a photographer, call Sandy; she's so worth it!

http://www.sandrarosephotography.com/

Creativeness

Creativity is something that, for me, comes and goes. When I see something that I love, I play with the design until it feels right. Does that make sense?

Probably not.

This picture popped up on my Facebook feed today:

I am so in love with this idea that I feel the need to gp take a sewing class just to make something similar. Someone took old baby clothes and turned it into a mini quilt. Talk about genius! 

My problem? I don't sew, nor do I save baby clothes. Does that make me a crap parent? The lack of keeping things for nostalgia moments like this? 

I might need to become a hoarder just incase something like this happens again. 

"Babe? Why the hell are you stock piling old socks that have holes and missing mates?!" Uh, what if I want to make sock puppets one day? Don't deny me my creativeness! 

That would go over well.

Mommy Flu

I woke up around 3 am this past Tuesday with a scratch in my throat that let me know I was about to hate life. The next morning, my voice started to go. I left work early 3 days last week and have come to the conclusion that I'm dying.

There's simply nothing else that makes sense. I can't talk, coughing constantly, gagging thanks to snot monsters in my nose and throat and I look like a Walking Dead extra.

My kids don't get it. They literally told me to drink my diet coke and get out of bed. Freaking harsh. How about you go get me a diet coke, some cookies and don't make me crazy until I can yell at you from the other side of the house, ya?

And the hubs. He made the mistake of asking me to make the kids some lunch.

He won't do that again.

Not while I'm clearly dying.

Where's my mom with some soup?

There should be a company that sends out a mommy fill in for when we're sick. This person cleans, cooks, etc while I hide and watch Hallmark.

I might create it.

Book Titles

I've just finished writing the first draft of my second book and I can’t think of a title to save myself.

It's downright pissing me off.

Sarcasm is my strong suit, my favorite language and damn funny; I’m just not sure how it'll be received based on the book subject.

I should just do whatever the heck I want to, right?

It's nice to see you all agreeing with me!

Though, I bet this post makes Cyn and Steph want to run for the hills, or booze, considering how "fun" formatting the first book was...

My sister and I went back and forth on a few different names and I think we picked one. 

Possibly.

Most likely. 

Getting Back to Awesome

Winning My Battle with PPD

We are in the editing stages right now, but I'm really hoping to have this published before the end of tax season! 

(That's April 15th, for those that weren't aware...)

Enjoy the Silence

You know those moments, when you first wake up, and it’s quiet and calm all around you?

If you answered yes, we can’t be friends.

This never happens in my house. If I’m not woken up by the blaring sound of my husband’s alarm, it’s by a cat, dog or child demanding my immediate attention. Don’t they know I was up late catching up on Once Upon a Time?

Every day starts like that; crazy and instantly loud.

Then, one day, I wake up and it’s quiet. Hub’s alarm didn’t wake me up, the pups are asleep on their beds, the cats aren’t in sight and all 3 kids are still curled up in their beds sleeping. It’s a thing of beauty. I don’t even know how to handle it because it’s so rare, so I do the first thing that comes to mind: grab a handful of chocolate chips from the pantry, my phone (which contains the latest story I’m reading) and my pillow and get to enjoying the silence!

The problem is, I get lost in reading, the kids over sleep and the next thing I know, we’re freaking late. And, I’m not talking 5 minutes here; I’m talking “still need to make lunches, get dressed and holy hell-I think I put my makeup on in the dark!” late.

My girls, in these crazy mornings, have become my “lunch helpers” and put together their own lunches so I can chase my son around the house with him yelling, “I not get dressed!” It goes great until one wants honey with their peanut butter and the other wants jelly. That’s when the claws come out and I’m even later because I have to clean up the condiments on the floor before we go. They’d help but they are too busy pouting in the hallway because they got plain peanut better since mommy was over listening to them.

Don’t worry; this makes them blame me for ruining e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g instead of putting it on each other.

Win-win, right?

Is this thing on?

If I had to add up the number of times I've read "create an author's blog" with my hands, well...

I'm terrible at blogs; mainly because I'm terrible at keeping up with them. Calling this a resolution would do nothing to help me remember to post, so we'll call this an experiment instead.

Maybe I'll get on this a few times a week and keep everyone updated on my next book, but with it being tax season, that probably won't happen.

Oh, you didn't know? Let me break it down for you:

-married to the military
-both work full time
-3 kids 6 and under
-2 cats, 2 dogs
-live 8 hours from almost all our family


There ya have it. My life in 5 bullet points. And I hate having my picture taken. Hate it.

This is going to be fun, ya?